It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Southern edition of
windows 95 may have accidentally been shipped elsewhere. If you
have one of these editions you may need some help understanding the
commands.

The  special edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 95 with a background picture of the General Lee super
imposed on a Confederate flag.  It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen
saver.

Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse,
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption,
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys,
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Other features:
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a hefty bag
and  duct tape.

OK       = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset    = oops
yes       = shore
no         = Naaaa
find       = hunt-fer it
go to     = over yonder
back     = back yonder
help      = hep me out here
stop      = ternit off
start      = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff dat does stuff
documents = stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.
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1. Their #1 product would be Micr'sawft Winders

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git" instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel"

5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.

7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player, you'd hear someone yelling "Freebird! or Roll Tide!".

8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Sweet Home Alabama".

9. PowerPoint would be "PahrPawnt".

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul D-".

11. Winders '95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag.

14. New shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, y'hear?!"

15. Microsoft bigshots would be called "Cuz".

16. Hardware would be compatible with, and could be repaired by, using parts from a TransAm.

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'Sawft Henhouse.

18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire.

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.